that explains a lot...

I know that companies are always trying new ideas to boost sales, the easiest being the introduction of a new version of an old favorite and the corresponding price hike for our convenience. My experience is that the new version is actually a poor imitation of the original, costing the company less to manufacture and allowing them to charge more. One of my favorite versions of this process is the select-a-size Bounty paper towels that you get at Wal-Mart. You pay extra so that you can save on paper towels by only using the size you need. What they forget to mention is that they only actually add the perforations to every third paper towel (bigger savings for them) so when you try and pull one (half-sheet) off you end up with the entire roll un-furled on the kitchen floor; this might just be the special Wal-mart version that allows them to charge a penny less per roll that Publix. All of this nonsense comes into play with Diet Pepsi. For some reason (see cost savings stratagies above) I have ended up with a large number of Diet Pepsies (Is that really the plural of Pepsi? Or is it Pepsis? They both look wrong.) that are flat when I open the bottle; I would estimate that 1 out of every 10 six-packs is flat. My first clue is that the un-opened bottle is already soft when you grab it out of the fridge. Pepsi is always very nice when I call to complain and are quick to tell me that even if the product is flat that drinking it won't hurt me. I always tell them that I like to throw up so it's a win/win situation.

I also thought that the "new" version of Diet Pepsi, Diet Pepsi Max (I guess Diet Pepsi Extreme, was already in use) went flat a lot faster than the regular Diet Pepsi. However, today I caught Emily Grace vigorously shaking my bottle of Diet Pepsi Max. When I asked her what she was doing she told me "bubbles" and she was right. Shaking the Diet Pepsi Max vigorously produces a lovely bottle full of bubbles to look at with none left to drink. Emily Grace seems bound and detrimined to get me out of the Diet Pepsi generation. I wonder how much mom is paying her.

Love,
dad