that explains a lot...

I know that companies are always trying new ideas to boost sales, the easiest being the introduction of a new version of an old favorite and the corresponding price hike for our convenience. My experience is that the new version is actually a poor imitation of the original, costing the company less to manufacture and allowing them to charge more. One of my favorite versions of this process is the select-a-size Bounty paper towels that you get at Wal-Mart. You pay extra so that you can save on paper towels by only using the size you need. What they forget to mention is that they only actually add the perforations to every third paper towel (bigger savings for them) so when you try and pull one (half-sheet) off you end up with the entire roll un-furled on the kitchen floor; this might just be the special Wal-mart version that allows them to charge a penny less per roll that Publix. All of this nonsense comes into play with Diet Pepsi. For some reason (see cost savings stratagies above) I have ended up with a large number of Diet Pepsies (Is that really the plural of Pepsi? Or is it Pepsis? They both look wrong.) that are flat when I open the bottle; I would estimate that 1 out of every 10 six-packs is flat. My first clue is that the un-opened bottle is already soft when you grab it out of the fridge. Pepsi is always very nice when I call to complain and are quick to tell me that even if the product is flat that drinking it won't hurt me. I always tell them that I like to throw up so it's a win/win situation.

I also thought that the "new" version of Diet Pepsi, Diet Pepsi Max (I guess Diet Pepsi Extreme, was already in use) went flat a lot faster than the regular Diet Pepsi. However, today I caught Emily Grace vigorously shaking my bottle of Diet Pepsi Max. When I asked her what she was doing she told me "bubbles" and she was right. Shaking the Diet Pepsi Max vigorously produces a lovely bottle full of bubbles to look at with none left to drink. Emily Grace seems bound and detrimined to get me out of the Diet Pepsi generation. I wonder how much mom is paying her.

Love,
dad

The physical toll of Emily Grace, or "I'm not getting any younger."

I like to run in the annual Gasparilla 5K every year; Emily Grace was there to cheer me on as I crossed the finish line last year. To prepare for this year's race I decided that I needed some new running shoes and Emily Grace and I went off to the local Sports Authority where they were running a promotion, buy $75 in Nike running gear and the race fee ($25) is waived. I like the Nike Free 5.0 running shoe, even though I don't think I'm supposed to race in it but that's what I wanted. While Emily Grace was busy pulling random boxes off of the shelves and looking inside, I tried on a pair of the Free's (or as close as Sports Authority gets to them) when the sales associate came by to see if I needed help and saw what I was trying on he asked what I planned to do with the shoes, guess I've lost that runner's physique, I told him tennis. I was not sure about the shoes so I went to check for some new shorts, Emily Grace played hide and seek in the racks of clothes. No luck. Went to give the shoes another try. A new clerk came upon me trying on the same Nike shoes and asked me the exact same question. I told her they were for swimming. I ended up buying the shoes and I really like them. If I have one complaint it's the insane shade of green that Nike uses on these shoes. It looks like I'm running with a couple of fire engines on my feet. Of course, none of this is as bad as when strangers stop and ask me how old my granddaughter is.

Love,
Dad

If I can get it in my mouth...

Emily Grace is not a picky eater, she does seem to cycle through how much she'll eat at any one time, but seconds and thirds are the norm; she also likes to graze throughout the day. With so many meals we were running out of cutlery. That's right Emily Grace is very proficient with a fork and spoon. We have been using the little spoons that you use when you first feed the baby, the ones with the long handle. Watching Emily try and hold the end of those and maneuver the food to her mouth was always interesting. I imagine it would be like us trying to eat with a mixing spoon or one of those barbecue forks. So Emily and I went out today to buy some new forks and spoons, the choices are many the options are few. But the most interesting set of baby cutlery out there is the three pack from Gerber. It contains a knife. What is a baby going to do with a knife? Granted, it's not sharp, pointy or serrated, she might be able to cut some soft butter if that ever appears on the menu. I think I'll make her a steak tonight.

love,
Dad